Money reputation. This is what I learned the day before my flight to Singapore then Abu Dhabi. Unfortunately, it's the sign I think that God has given me after having completed my Novena for safety, guidance, employment in another country. I've never been out of the country so I had to trust God everything because I couldn't find anything or anyone to uplift me and give me strength and encouragement to work abroad and restart from there.
No one understands everything that is happening to me for years. It's not like I asked for attention but it could have been easier if there was someone who could listen to me and hug me again and again. I just needed my self and God's guidance.
I needed a push, a concrete push, that will help me to be a hundred percent sure that I am ready to face a new challenge in life which is to go abroad, work there, live my own life. I didn't want to leave my birth place but I realized that no one values me as me. Every one values those who has a lot of money in their hands. The ideas, opinions, the power... no one values mine because they rather listen to those who have too much even though you care deeply for them. So, there goes the sign that I thought God has given me. I needed to find a place where I need not to mingle those who don't even respect my being. But I'm afraid because I know when I get there, in a place where everything is new for me, I still have to build a foundation for myself. But I thought that is necessary if I really want to start over and push myself up and think that I have a value in this world.
These people, most of them, probably are materialistic. Too bad I trusted them too much I forgot to be cautious. However, I'm glad that I've learned this and take it as a sign given to me from God. So my wish for this New Year is to have a humble amount of people who will value me as me.
I valued them with quality, but they valued more those who have quantities.