I had forgotten how beautiful it was to be alone with my own thoughts. And every time I think about the things that I used to do, the more I miss home. I miss my sanctuary. My old self. I remember coming home from school or work feeling blessed to have a peaceful place welcoming me and reminding me to take it slow. Everything is so different now. I keep telling myself that it's okay to think about my then-self but a part of me wants to say adios and move forward.
I remember a few nights before I left. I was in the terrace at night looking at the starry sky. It was a peaceful and cold December night. The sea breeze touched my skin as the palm trees swayed to and fro. "I'm going to miss this place", I whispered as I stood looking at the neighborhood. Then I came rushing down towards my room, locked the doors, sat down and cried. "I'm going to miss this place big time".
Tears fell down my cheeks so rapidly that I couldn't stop making sorrowful noises. It was such big tears. I was the saddest of all. Then, I stared at my ceiling wondering how my life will be. If I could say something to my then-self, I would say that things are not as exactly as how you are thinking right now but not opposite either. Life is entirely different but not as bad as you think it would be. However, cry if you must please.
This is a journey of an entirely introvert walking towards a road that seems to be too loud to adopt but trying to learn how to roar. In a nice way.