November 21, 2014

It is going to be different but fine.

For the past months, I can see a lot of changes around me. For once, I never thought it would come to this. I was raised by my family well and I believe that all my 5 siblings were, too.  We were once a happy group of people though there were some circumstances that would lead one soul (W) away from us. But we did not really left it at that. I know that, as cliche as it may sound, time will heal all wounds and that problem will somehow drift away and becomes just a norm that it would not seem like a problem at all. And things will continue to move on. At least, that's how I see some things around me for the past twenty-four years. Our doors are open for reconciliation. Timing is everything. So there's that hope.

But these past few months, I learned that if there is a problem in the family it does not really seem like a problem at all because I know that everything is fine and there is still that string that binds us altogether. No one is bitter but someone has his pride. But I'd like to believe that everything is okay. And pride will just vanish if he will let it. But for now, everything is okay.

Then there is another one (K) who just recently been part of the family for almost 5 years now. No one really knew that she will destroy the bond we have in the family. She may not seem to know this but for us everything is not going to be the same as before. This is another kind of realization -- that when somebody makes a problem in the family, and that somebody is not really part of the family, it is going to be chaotic. Maybe chaotic is too strong to describe how it is but I want to leave it at that because I've never experienced something else as chaotic as this.

Through my college years up to now, there is that fear of belongingness in the same place. I have a story to tell but I'd rather just drift it away into my memories and rather not write about it at all. But for sure, I want to get out. I want ot experience a life away from here because if I will stay, I will forever remember and live this kind of destruction that somebody has caused.

But then, you know, as cliche as it seems, time will heal all wounds. But I'd rather spend that time away from those who caused too much trouble in our lives. As for now, that is the better way to do it. And I am very thankful to my siblings (ADA), their partners in life, and a few of my relatives for being supportive of this journey to the unknown but I know everything is going to be fine. Different but fine.

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