It's been a long time since I've written something (by typing; and by using pen and paper -- though I write lists a lot because that's how I roll everyday haha). To be honest, and it might sound kind of irrelevant to say, I could not find time to write anything at all and finish it. I've taken myself into a new environment recently and it has been puzzling (for an indoors man like me) yet exciting. This experience would have lead me to write stories about my daily life but then I end up so tired when I get home from work hence I couldn't just find time to sit down and bring out words and create something from my life experience so far.
I have a lot of things to share but it's quite difficult to do so when I'm on a reading and writing slump. Oh, how I hate being in that state. I dread it so much and worst I could not find a way to break away from it. I hope it is easy to maneuver at different paces from learning new things in my first job to getting home and do what I usually do in my sanctuary. Except this. Last night was a reminder of how I haven't written anything for the whole month (well, almost). So I decided to write something today about how it has been, though it does not mean anything really, but I am hoping that this would help me go back to writing because God knows how much I need it and how much I want it desperately.
There are so many things to write about, so many books to read, so many new music to listen to on a peaceful Sunday morning while having coffee, so many things to do for a living, so many realizations, struggles, learning to deal every day and every night. What has become of me?
Well, I have become someone who gained some new things and forgot to write them down yet. Or maybe I thought for an instant that they don't need to be written down. Or they don't make any sense in the years to come when I sit down and randomly pick a blog entry to read and laugh at my experience or feel glad that something bad happened and I got something from it or whatever. Maybe I forgot that this blog, or this diary, is something that will stay with me for as long as I stay alive and will stay for as long as the internet is present and (as for the printed version of this diary) for as long as it isn't burnt yet. My life story is here and I need to write for as long as I can because who knows what might happen. If I can't make something great or if I can't be someone who achieved everything there is to achieve, then I can only have my fleeting life stories written down by me.
And now looking back at how April has been, although I am feeling grateful of my days with the presence of my loved ones, I feel kind of sad that I almost forgot that one of my favorite things to do is to write --no matter how senseless it is sometimes.
But hey, May! I've got a lot of stories for you! ;)