December 2, 2012

Life will always be confusing

At 20, I thought that life will be easier to live; that I have experienced enough to face problems on my own. I thought all my choices are going to be all right. I thought that I can do everything I want because I am technically not a teenager anymore; no one could stop me from all my choices. So I spent days outside the city mostly, going to other places within the region, going to friends' houses and eat/drink a lot, many nights were spent at the beach and many days ended up not able to talk because I drank too much alcohol. It was fun. Everything were all  I ever wanted. I planned summer outings and even regular days and nights whenever there are no classes or there's a holiday. I enjoyed everything I did. I loved every single bit of it. It was perfect.

At 21, I admit that I was undecided but just fine. I was puzzled and suddenly I became focused on other things. It was a year of realizations for me. Realizations on life in general and then going through each bit of it. I admit it was difficult. Confusing. I knew I had to challenge myself. I needed to hear what I really want. It was more like looking very deeply to the core of my heart -- what should be done, what challenges to take, what other stuff to try, what to achieve and what to break. I listened and looked very closely. Little by little, I understood. It was the hardest choices I've ever done but it made life a bit lighter but still confusing.

At 22, life is still confusing but life is more focused. Although I admit life is blurry at some point but I figured it has always been like that. What's new? Nothing, except that it isn't that heavy. I learned that it's perfectly okay to feel confused at life because it is constantly moving; it is changing. Life has something new to offer and I am very excited for it. Whatever it may be, I know I will be okay.

So don't question why life is confusing because it will always be confusing. Search questions, discover answers, and when you do things, do it because you love to. There will be a lot of choices in life but choose the ones that make you happy. After all, living life is living with content, love and happiness.

16 comments:

  1. so true. life will ALWAYS be confusing. you just have to go along with the ride :)

    happyleeliving.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes, but don't forget to bring good friends with you to make it more fun!

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  2. so glad you can already see that with each year, you figure out more and more who you are and what your purpose is. I am 25, and still figuring it out, but can look back on my life and see growth.

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    1. I am glad to see growth and maturity as well whenever I look back! Those *cool* things that I used to adore before seem to be *small* things now. Not that I look down to most things though. :)

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  3. You're headed in the right direction. Make choices that you will be happy with. I went to college and majored in theatre even though people frowned upon it. I had a blast. I jumped on a once in a lifetime opportunity to work in Shanghai, even though I lost a ex-fiancee over that. But then, that was where I met my husband. Looking back, I have no regrets. Follow your heart and it will lead you in the right path.

    xx

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    1. Thank you for sharing a part of your life. I love how it turned out very well and it seems perfect now. By perfect, I mean a life full of happiness and sadness (as well) but more of the former. Very inspiring. :)

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  4. i know what you're talking about. just when we thought we would finally have the answers of everything or feel sure about life and all when we reach a certain age - but we're not. but, isn't that what making life more exciting? the unknown, the uncertainty, and of course, the journey. the journey until we can answer "because..." out of "why?" and such things. love that you shared it with us!

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    1. Exactly my point, Niken. Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone in this confusion. It's fun to come up with "because" to every "why's" in life. Thank you for expounding this thought in a philosophical way, it helped! :)

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  5. Yes, very wise words! We find life confusing because we always want to rationalise everyone and everything. Sometimes it's just ok not to know the answer and go with the flow.

    LUXESSED

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    1. I agree, there are things that don't need to be focused on (anymore) and just go with other things that matter most.

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  6. Life is a constant journey of learning and maturing. Sometimes I look back at some decisions I made or things I said and I wonder..what was I thinking? But at the end of the day, we learn from it :)

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    1. Our perspectives change as we grow old, I guess. I love that we are moving from phase 1 to phase 2 to nth phase. Life shouldn't be stagnant. :)

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  7. I am 24 now and I still have so many questions on life and what I will do with it, but I guess not knowing sometimes is also the fun part :)

    x

    Marielle

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    1. There's absolutely fun in not knowing where life leads us sometimes. :D

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  8. And I'm here to tell you at 23, it's just as confusing. lol
    I love how honest this post it :)

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    1. Hello, Arielle! I figured that too but I hope it's better than being 22! Hahaha

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