May 29, 2012

Summer 2012


This summer is different. I didn't get to have time for friends like usual. It was all about spending time with myself and making stuff that I never get to experience before. For the record, I became a full-time indoors man. It was my choice to stay in for the whole summer. But as someone who usually spends summer outdoors, it was a brave and difficult choice. Thus, I almost gave up. But every time I decide to, I go back to the reasons why I made that choice in the first place.

I wanted to take a break for a while and do some reflection, and test myself if I can survive with doing chores, doing some crafts, writing, reading, gardening and a lot more. The idea is simple but it excites me every time I think about the outcome. I feel like I am putting myself in a test wherein I get to know what I really am in terms of spending time outdoors or indoors. But I just realized now, at the end of summer, that it really isn't about being an outdoors or indoors man at the end of this. What this test taught me is time management and making schedules for the day.

I enjoyed a month staying indoors. I am excited to go for some adventures in the future months. I think that choice, to stay in for a month, is a good decision I made for myself. It was a good sacrifice. And the outcome is great because I get to have a lot of time for myself and I get to know some of the things I can do which I never thought I could. I get to realize some things about friendship, understanding people and stuff mostly about relationships. It was healthy.

Although the days aren't so smooth, I kept myself grounded and kept myself  intact because I knew it won't last that long. In a month, I did have a share of good and bad days. Which made me very thankful because I get to learn from those moments. Thankful because I experienced good things, bad things and both in a day. Thankful because it molded me into something I don't know but I'm fine so it isn't that bad.

It was really a great escape.

May 26, 2012

Get to know yourself

The older I get, the more I realize that I just need a few people to be with me in this lifetime. Few people includes: siblings and some friends. I realized that I don't want people to know what is happening to me every second of the day. Funny because I was the kind who tweets a lot (e.g. I'm about to, I'm going to, etc). Seems like I am not the kind who sticks with a certain hobby or action for a long time. I hated how I am back then and I am sorry if I annoyed you with my updates.

Also, the older I get, the more I become sensitive in terms of giving trust to people. I had trust issues back then and I hated it so much including the people involved but I realized that those bad moments in my life molded me into a higher version of myself. The older I get, the more standards I put up for myself. It is kind of difficult though because it feels like I am overprotecting myself. The thing is, I don't want to be open anymore. Feels like I am always nice to people that I tell everything to them.

Not trying to sound like a snob but I really should be more careful in what I say and who I trust. It usually takes me years to say that I like and trust one's company.

I may change over the years and my standards may not be the same but for now this is what I want. I find peace when I personally deal with a smaller group of people.


May 24, 2012

Polo Shirt Tote Bag


I made a tote bag using an old white polo shirt. Painted it and added some accessories. It was pretty cool. I love it! :p



May 22, 2012

A Parent's Love


During the last days of my Mama, I was there with her in bed. I witnessed her last breath but I didn't cry. I was in bed laying beside her, holding her hand and whispered "I love you, Ma". Minutes later, I noticed a small water in her eyes. I knew she heard me. After that, I cried so much. That's when I realized I won't be able to hear her voice anymore. It's been 6 years... I miss you, Ma. :(

8 years since my Papa passed away. One morning, I went to the hospital to deliver some medicine. My brother was assigned to look after him. I got to the hospital and Papa was sleeping. There were machines attached to his body. It was my first time to visit him. My brother was outside taking a nap. I didn't bother waking my brother up. So I asked the nurse if I could go near Papa and she allowed me. I left his medicine in the table, I looked at him and whispered that I have to go home *bec I dont want him to hear/see me crying*. When I got home, I saw my Mama, sisters and other brother crying. They told me that minutes after I got out of the room, Papa passed away. :(

May 20, 2012

Blog Challenge: Bullet your day


  • Washed clothes. Hand washed them because the machine is not working except for the dryer.
  • Checked out my plants -- tomatoes, bell peppers, others. My plants are growing!
  • Had breakfast with Ate Mila.
  • Washed dishes.
  • Made some hot cocoa.
  • Played with Karsten while he was watching television. I was trying to get a nap but he slaps my arm and wakes me up everytime he sees something on television (e.g. flowers, fish, cow.)
  • Worked on some Technical Description in my brother's office from 10 AM to 5 PM.
  • Entertained two clients in my pajamas. I didn't even care what they'd think.
  • 100 hoolahoops; 100 jumps using jumping rope; 3 rounds using the bicycle.
  • Had dinner by myself.
  • Took a shower.
  • Now killing time until I fall asleep.
  • Also, listening to oldies. 
It was a productive, work-filled day. And it is summer. I want to go to the beach so bad. 

May 16, 2012

Video: Murmuration

Murmuration from Islands & Rivers on Vimeo.


The magical thing I've ever seen aside from Aurora Borealis and Aurora Australis! When I was in high school (the time when I used to watch National Geographic almost every hour of every day), I told myself that I can't die without having witnessed Borealis and Australis or at least one of them! Last year, I think I added Murmuration on my things-to-witness-before-I-die list, which exists only in my head. 

What a beautiful and magical world we have!

May 14, 2012

Who doesn't have a little bit of that?

Fear is always there. I think the reason why I don't give in easily is fear. The fear to fail, to be laughed at, to be judged. Strangely, I fear being looked at by many people because I'm not comfortable at being in the limelight. Fear, obviously, hinders me from everything.

I may have gotten used to it but there were times when I remember the feeling of it. I don't get why I fear people. I guess, I never want to be judged. If only I could exist without people minding/looking at me. My family is an exception because I trust them and I know them.

I could count all the opportunities I could've grabbed before if only I didn't focused too much on my fears but it would make me sad. As much as possible, I want to forget my regrets. I have to remind myself constantly that I am not the only one with fears. It shouldn't hinder me from what I want and what to try. After all, no one is perfect. We all learn the things that capture us and in learning, we make mistakes -- not once, not even twice.

May 12, 2012

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Mix


I made a mix for my sister and her husband. She has been asking me some songs that would be perfect for relaxation. So I decided to choose songs from 1940s and up. I'm not really sure of the exact years of each songs but I'm pretty sure they're oldies. Oldies but goodies.

Here's the list:

Aretha Franklin; Say A Little Prayer
Julie London; Sway
Ella Fitzgerald; Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Doris Day; Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps
Frankie Valli; Can't Take My Eyes Off You
Elvis Presley; Love Me Tender
Louis Armstrong; When You're Smiling
Sidney Bechet; Si tu vois ma mere


Click to download
Enjoy! :)

May 10, 2012

Drink and be merry but drink moderately.

For an indoors man, I sometimes enjoy drinking alone in my room. 


Drink and be merry but drink moderately.

May 8, 2012

050812

I was there eating breakfast with some people who talk as if I am not around. They finished their food at the same time and stood altogether as if I am not around. Why do some people treat me this way? I feel like a ghost. Am I dead yet?

You think that the people who have caused you buckets of tears will never do the same after they've asked for forgiveness... you're wrong.

You can't just tell me about how you and your father are fighting when you obviously know I lost mine years ago. Stop crying in front of me and act like such a brat. I am grieving inside more than you do.

People invite you for dinner and then they make you feel like you don't belong. How rude is that?

I have to remind myself to buy plant pots because I borrowed pots from them (because I know they wouldn't even put some plants on it. They're not that kind. They bought it for a party last month.). I wanted to plant some herbs but I couldn't find good pots so I have to borrow some. If I won't buy her new ones, she might make another gossip about it. I know, right? But that's how they roll. So I might as well stop making it happen. Sometimes you have to adjust when you're dealing with difficult people. So relax.

Quatro Bente


Quatro Bente and from where I am, it was raining... perfect to chill out. Great bud, light rain, open windows.





May 6, 2012

Letters in my mind

Whenever I see you walking by, I stop
and stare and write letters in my mind.
At night when I go to bed, I dream
of you and in my dreams, I take note
about everything in it. When I wake
up in the morning, I find myself smiling
and falling in love over again. So I'm
wondering if you get to read
the letters I've written everyday,
would your feelings be
the same as mine?

May 5, 2012

Pancit Canton with Chorizo Macau


Ingredients:
Cooking oil
Garlic, minced
Onion, minced
Pork, sliced in small pieces
Chorizo Macau, sliced in small pieces
Soy sauce
Salt and pepper / Magic Sarap food seasoning
Carrot, sliced into strips
Cabbage, sliced into strips
Pancit Canton Noodles

Procedure:
1. Sautee in oil the garlic and onions.
2. Add pork, chorizo macau and soy sauce until cooked.
3. Add pancit canton. Let simmer until noodles are soft.
4. Add carrot and cabbage until cooked.
5. Add salt and pepper or Magic Sarap food seasoning.
6. Serve hot.


May 2, 2012

Seen each other in a dream

I am the kind of girl who forgets someone easily especially when I'm introduced to a person and that person hasn't always been there afterwards. And when I get to meet them after months or years, I couldn't remember them at all. Someone (or they) should explain how we were introduced, when and where. I feel bad about this.

There are also times when I thought I knew a certain person but I can't recall being introduced to them. Something inside me tells that I've met this guy/girl somewhere but I can't trace anything. Even my friends don't know them. It's crazy how they look so familiar but then I couldn't just figure out how is that possible.

When something like this happens, I just tell myself that maybe I've seen them in my dreams. :p

May 1, 2012

Karsten's 2nd birthday

My nephew, Karsten, turned two years old last April 11! I got to design the balloons and other stuff. It was fun decorating balloons :p

Karsten with his balloons! :)
Angry Birds-themed cake!
Barney showed up. Karsten cried. The other kids enjoyed. Hahaha




"What's the magic word?" "Happy birthday, Karsten!!!" :p
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