It's early in the morning and I already feel tired. Or maybe I'm just too sad.
Maybe being sad just feels very tiring. Maybe being tired just feels very sad.
That very last part of last night, which when I was already in bed (and you know when you're already in bed, random thoughts appear and it's uneasy to sleep), was not happy. I cried. I was crying because of the thought: I may not bound to have a long-term friendship. One day, I might lose some people who are very close to me. It is always like this. My close friends in grade school were never my close friends in high school. My close friends in high school, were never my close friends in college. Maybe one day I might lose all my close friends in college. I can feel it.
Am I a difficult person to deal with? I don't know. All I know is that when I miss something important, I always make sure I could catch up with it. And I say sorry when I know I made something wrong. I tell whatever is on my mind. I am open when I am comfortable with one's company. I share a lot. I tell stories and experiences. I don't know what is wrong.
I don't want to cry this time because it is too early to be so dramatic. I still have to go to school and do shit, which makes me more sad because shit's difficult (lol).
If I could vomit feelings, I would be bulimic.