February 26, 2012

List of things I wish I said

This isn't any cute post or anything I wish I could have said to someone I love. I am out of that pace so you'd read the otherwise. Because I've been to most terrible things and situation in life nowadays. I've written these in my notebook the other night.

1. The world does not revolve around you. So stop acting like you're the most important shit that had ever dumped!

2. I wish I had said that you don't need to shout in order to get one's attention. If we want to listen to you, we would. So stop acting so much like a desperate girl trying to catch someone's attention.

3. You're adorable but I don't like the fact that you're making me do something for someone who I don't want to reconnect to.

4. Your negative vibe always puts me in a bad mood.

5. You're such a snob.

6. Fuck those guys who abuse their girlfriends. If I am going to stumble upon you, I am going to let you suffer much more than your ex-girlfriend suffered from you.

7. Seriously? Making a sound of spitting is not funny. Try to have manners, please. You think it's cool? No. [Just at least know who'll hear it because if everyone in that room are your friends, it would be funny but if not, it is not and it is gross!! I am sorry but we're not friends so you know what I mean!]

I wish I was brave and strong and bitchy enough to let you know how I hated those moments. I had difficult nights trying to get some sleep but whenever I remember those awful moments (those moments when I was extremely annoyed but can't say anything), I cry a little bit because (A) I realize I am such a loser for not saying anything (B) I am not happy and I can't seem to find any happy moments to think of (C) I can't find any happy thoughts to divert to. What a cruel world.

February 24, 2012

I've been busy these past few weeks. School is taking too much of my time and money. I am working on several school-related projects and it does make me feel stressed. There were nights when I got to sleep in the living room with my uniform on. I can't even find time and I'm too lazy to change clothes and check the internet.

It is just now that I think I found time to write and I feel so bad because I can't find anything to blog about except this one. I have ideas on what to write but it is hard for me to start writing when my mind is still thinking about school projects and Circuits. 

Things are making me sad these days. But I'm grateful for all these free food I always get from my family. Little surprises and my nephew are the only ones that are making me smile and relaxed. It is still two in the afternoon and I feel like going to bed again! Just so you know, I worked on my papers early this morning so I guess I need to take a nap. 

When I wake up, I'm going to work again. Hopefully I could squeeze in the things that are not school-related in between work. I swear I really want to finish everything already but it is just so hard. Also, I swear I want to live a normal life again. Hahahaha

February 5, 2012

From the plane window

"Flying over the ocean always makes me feel so alone, so alone. I remember looking out the window and seeing nothing but blue and grey. Thinking I can't, thinking about leaving." -- Over The Ocean by Best Coast

My first plane ride was in 2009. I was with my siblings and their partners. It was amazing to see parcels of land from above, and of course, the ocean. I was scared and amused at the same time.

I was happy to leave Davao for days and excited to feel what it's like to be in other places, which was Cebu & Bohol. It was a sunny adventure especially in Bohol. What's the best thing about that trip in Bohol was the ride. I like that the main road is just right beside the seashore. Conversations, photo ops and places. Fun.

Why would I talk about a trip that was 3 years ago? Because I don't remember sharing it to my blog (though I remember I shared some details in my Multiply account together with the photo albums).  I may have but not entirely. I don't intend to share everything here now though. All I want is to travel again. It would be much better if I am alone in a place that I have never been. See people, culture and places.

Well, I guess I need to go back to sleep and dream of these places.
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