January 4, 2012

Murmur

Hi,

This isn't a love letter but it is something I want to tell you. So here it goes...

I have been thinking about you lately, usually at night, when I'm about to go to bed. Thoughts of you are the sweetest thing, and I like to end my day to be just like that -- thinking of the sweetest thing. All those moments you smiled, waved and talked at/to me were never forgotten. And as days go by, our chance to meet eye-to-eye gets more exciting thus more moments of you smiling at me; it's harder for me to sleep.  This might be weird to hear but I kind of have this camera in my head that every time we see each other, it automatically snaps a picture of your face and stores in an album which only exists in my mind. I view this album every night, just so you know.

I want to know you more but I want you to know me, too. I know, it sounds too harsh. I think because you are nice and I want to share my life story to you. It's creepy, I know.

Did you know that I already shared it to you? When you were in my bed beside me? Of course, you didn't. It wasn't you but my imaginary mind created someone like you. I am not crazy, I was just daydreaming, and I can't sleep. So I fancy sometimes. Don't worry, my intentions were good. I just talked and talked. The next thing I know, I woke up in the morning feeling a little lonely.

I am aware that whenever I talk to you in real life, I sound so aggressive and casual. I do that so you'd not know I like you. We never really talked about something instead we always talk about someone. Well, there's nothing to talk about (really) because we are not that close. But I am happy that at least I could hear your voice whenever I ask you where my friends are (because we have a few common friends). But you must know that it always takes me self-confidence and courage to talk to someone I like. Do I sound weird to you? Did I creep you out?

I am sorry if I do and I did. To be honest, I'm never like this. Maybe, I really want to speak to you. It doesn't really have to mean that I want us together as a couple but as friends. I can feel you're a good listener and, again, nice.

If all what I have imagined you'd be like are false, that's just sad. But if all what I have imagined you be like are all true, come, let's talk. :)

2 comments:

  1. "I am aware that whenever I talk to you in real life, I sound so aggressive and casual." that's my favourite line - because it's such a familiar mode of defence :)

    nicely written!

    ReplyDelete

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