December 10, 2011

It's good to reconnect

As I get older, I notice the things that I thought was easy to deal with now become the things I could not even understand. It gets complicated in the long run that I want to give up and run away with it.

I could have cheated on myself. I may have ran away from responsibilities, but I always make sure I am not hurting anything even myself. What I'm saying is, I always get away from what's in reality and reconnect to things I used to enjoy back in the days. School stuff is always right here on my desk, I could go back when I want to. You see, I am not really happy with what is going on with my life as a student but I am not also giving up on it. [If you're an engineering student, you'd understand] Maybe cheating from these school work responsibilities is okay. Maybe I need something to work on aside from it. Something to reconnect to.

Well, honestly, I have tried reconnecting to things I used to enjoy back when I was younger. These are just some of the things I used to have that makes me feel good about reconnecting to. And when I try to reconnect to it, it feels new but in a weird way. It feels new yet I already knew how to feel about it so it doesn't feel really new. Sometimes used-to's are not great to reconnect for a long time.

Then, I find myself going back to work. Only to realize that what matters now is what I am capable of doing at the moment. What matters now is satisfying myself with a one-of-a-kind happiness. Something that I never felt before. Something that I could get excited about reconnecting to five years from now. The point is, the older we get, the more we have to offer ourselves with something that is more of what we have when we were a year younger. Now, that's a challenge!

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