October 25, 2011

Season Of Life That I'm In Right Now

It has always been fall for me. 

A shot taken in my favorite beach some years ago (hence the crappy watermark. sorry about that.)

I will assume you know the song that goes: "Winter, spring, summer or fall. All you've got to do is call. And I'll be there. You've got a friend." I've got a lot of things to say about every season but for now, I'm all about fall. During fall, trees change the color of their leaves, and it gets less warm.

Things seem to get so confusing. One time, I'm happy on what I am doing. At one point, I am starting to suck at it. It always go this way. More like living in a curse. A curse that says: I can't be too much happy in life. I get it now. Figured that I need to change some things -- and by some things, I meant THINGS.

When people say bad things at you, when they make you feel bad about yourself, would you still want to be with these people? What if they never really cared? What if they will never care at all? Would you still prove something that will never interest them anyway?

Maybe I need to take a step backward. Even when in "theory", or what the society says and I've said this a lot of times, you've got to stay by their side no matter what because they are all you've got but if you're not happy at all, screw that, move away from them. They don't deserve your effort and you don't deserve to feel like this for the rest of our life.

Yes, maybe I need to do some changes. Just like how the leaves change it's color. And be ready for winter. When things get stable, a whole lot of snow and cold nights are coming up. I need to build some confidence now to fight for whatever is there in the future. Maybe after winter, all these challenges I am going through will blossom like the flowers in spring. And a beach during summer sounds fine.

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