October 20, 2011

How unfair is life?

Back in grade 4 elementary, I received a letter from a friend that says nice things about me but the only thing I can remember from that letter were the words: I like you because you are cheerful. Her name is Gemma, by the way, and every time I see her, I remember that letter. And whenever I talk about it, she giggles. She's just a cute girl and cheerful, too! :)

Yes, I'm a cheerful kid. The most cheerful kid back in the days. What happened? Just, what happened?

Minutes ago, I went out after crying in my bed like crazy. And the girl in the bakeshop kept looking at me as I was looking at some cupcakes and other kinds of bread. I know she can tell I cried. At one point that time, I was hoping she will say some comforting words and say it's going to be alright but who cares, really?

I went home eating a lot of sweet stuff. Still eating as I am typing this and a cup of sweet coffee. Sometimes all I need is food to make me happy again.

Oh, why was I crying? Oh, you know. dramas in life. If you have that, you would know but still, you wouldn't know exactly what it is. I insist not to tell it here. Not to anyone either.

But just in case after five years, I am going to read this blog, a single thought from that drama would probably help me bring back what I am feeling five years later -- now.

A thought: I know I am bound to be somebody starting now, I have dreams, I have goals, I have needs and most of all, I have wants but people seem not to support me in any way. How depressing.

You know what, 26 year-old me? Your life is not happy. You may have been that but none of those happiness from the past last long. You should know by now (and remember hopefully) how you were feeling five years ago. I hope you are happy now.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...