September 4, 2011

What Melody?

Things have been very difficult for me lately... I can cry all night and not able to move on from it. If only I have someone to talk to about these problems and tell me everything's going to be fine, it would be the best. But then opening up something to someone is difficult because I'm scared of being judged from the things I'm going to say. Sometimes I wish talking and crying to a stranger would be fine and this stranger would be the coolest to respond to me how awful my life is and that I need to change everything or go far away where no one knows me by default and start a new life. Of course, that's impossible but I need someone to slap me the reality of what I have become just because...

I am not comfortable at sharing my real feelings to anyone. Or maybe, I haven't found someone who I can trust to in everything I say about my life. Or maybe the question is: do I really need someone to share the melody of my life?

Writing down everything on a piece of paper isn't comforting at all -- it somehow is. but then this paper can't hug me and say "it's okay." unless of course I write it down.

Yes, I think I need someone to hold hands with. People may not know I'm a cry baby because they always see me happy. I am a happy kid! The only time I get to be sad is when I feel lonely. Whenever I am lonely, the universe seem to bitch slap me in the face and say how it sucks to be me at times.

I need a hug. Please... someone. :(

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