September 3, 2011

Root Beer + Realizations

Does a mug of root beer suppose to make you drunk? Because I was last night. Or maybe I was tired and so I passed out too early? I don't know. It's been a long time since I had root beer. We bought one liter of Mug Root Beer last Tuesday when we were having grocery at the mall. Ate Karen wanted to try it. Also, I saw some interesting stuff at the grocery like Arizona and some German beers. Hmmm, I'm thinking of saving money for those. Anyway, so aside from drinking beer [or getting drunk haha] while browsing the internet and updating some stuff, I tweeted about how I missed blogging like I used to before. Just so you know, I was the storyteller-kind of blogger. So detailed that you can predict my personality just by reading my old blogs. I hated it at some point. I miss it actually. So maybe for now, I will not only blog about events, rants, and some stuff but also continue what I used to write before. So, dear readers, if there's any, please, don't judge me when I'll start posting personal stuff again. Hahaha :)

To start it off, you may ask why was I drinking alone on a Friday night? I may have a bunch of friends (or acquaintances) but most of the time, I am alone at home. I am not the kind of girl who goes out at night (or every weekend) and drink with friends anymore. That phase was over for me, I guess. I can go out when I'm free and when I feel like it. I can go home at around 4 or 5 in the morning. And thanks to friends for always inviting me :) Maybe, at least for my self, the older I get, the farther I am from being active in going out with friends and drinking in resto bars. I missed it actually. I was like that from fourth year high school up to second year college. But it will never be the same again. I am glad I am over that. Not that it's a bad thing to do. Enjoying the weekend isn't bad. Getting drunk isn't bad. Going to resto bars/disco houses isn't bad. There is nothing bad about being a bar hopper or hippie, party girl whatever you call it. We all go through that phase. As for me, I'm done with it.

I still get drunk, go to parties, get high but when there are occasions only like going to the beach with friends. When I stopped getting drunk in bars, I started getting drunk as fuck when I'm in the beach with friends. So you can tell I only drink heavy volume of alcohol when I'm in the beach. I think it is more memorable. Especially when you're with close friends. Plus, I enjoy the adventure in going to the beach. Just so you know, Canibad has acknowledged me as the girl-who-is-always-laughing-when-drunk for at least two years now.

They say there are always some place where you can enjoy without getting drunk. Yes, there are and I would love to be there but sometimes you have to put so much effort on it since most of my friends drink and no matter how we try to make it as simple as possible we always add beer in that simplicity we're trying to achieve! Hahahaha but seriously, I have been to simple night outs especially with very close friends -- going to the mall, chilling at someone's house, dinner etc. but these people are too busy nowadays. I miss them. When I'm free, they aren't or when they're free, I'm not.

So much for my drunkard life... what was I suppose to write again? (pause) (thinking) (thinking again)

I realized that no matter how happy you are outside, when you get home, you find yourself alone and at some point you will realize, is this it? is this what my life should be? getting happy but not genuinely happy? Going home from school is the best time to reminisce the things that happened during the day. Sure, I made a lot of people smile, I laugh hard, I bully friends, I get to talk to a lot of people -- some real conversation, others are small talk. but when I get home, entered my room, on the bed... I'm all alone. No one's really there for me. And I think, I am missing everyone. I miss them a lot.

I talked to a friend over Facebook chat and told him how I was feeling that time. He said, I'm not lonely, I am just bored. Maybe he's right. Maybe I need something new in the my life. Something refreshing and challenging so I wouldn't get bored easily. And that something is not concrete at this time. I am wondering what it would be. Maybe, I need a book? Maybe, I do. Maybe, I should go back to reading again.

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