July 17, 2011
You see, when you reach 20 you realize some things (and those things, I will leave that up to you). But you know, there are times when you just sit in one corner on a Sunday afternoon and realize how time flies so fast that you feel like you just graduated high school yesterday. Funny that it has been 4 years since that happened but you can still remember the thrill, the feeling of being a high school student (you know, walking along the corridor just to take a glimpse of Mr. Cute Guy, staying in the canteen instead of listening to the teacher), of being sweet sixteen, going out late at night and being a fan girl for a band that plays your type of music, those days when you don't worry about school because you know you will pass all subjects. It definitely isn't the same in college. This isn't a graduation speech, by the way, but it might be when I finish this shit. Just kidding.
My teenage life was very much lively. I always break the rules but it didn't usually come off as a bad experience which reminds me to just do what you want to do and don't worry about the society if they might judge you because they don't really care at all. One minute, they talk about you but most of the time, they don't care at all but what they see of you won't change unless of course you prove to them that you're just being real and true to yourself.
It creeps me to think that the people I have known before as one of my closest friends aren't one of my closest friends anymore -- it is more like acquaintance. But I am happy that at least we have shared experiences. Experiences that are part of my history book.
What creeps me more is that, knowing from people who have seen me change over the years and what they think about me now. Let's say, my siblings, as they have witnessed me grow up, what can they say about me being what I am now? And what about my friends back in kindergarten, elementary and high school, as I have so much friendship shared among those people. I haven't had enemies so I am guessing they will say, "ah, si Debie, she's still the same Debie I know. Nice girl. Buutan na bata." Hahahaha
Change is a transition from light to dark and vice versa. Just like what you see from those coconut leaves in the picture. If I am going to integrate the changes in my life, as I can point out some but not as many as what others can give, to the change in color of those leaves, I would say the transition would be from light to dark side. Why? Because the older I get, the heavier my experiences are, the more complicated problems I'd face, more frustrations and negativities -- because in darkness, I feel like things are dense.
But let me say this, if you feel like you're still on the light side and you're on your way to the dark, and when you're starting to feel like the world is getting denser everyday, but you know, when you know how to live, how to take your responsibility, if you follow your mind and heart accordingly, you take chances to the things you haven't tried, when you start to break rules because you think it will do you good and provided the fact that you're in a good mind condition , you will surpass everything and it would be the most fulfilling thing in this world. And once you surpass all those shit, you know you just don't live in this world, rather you exist!
Of course, life is a cycle (today you're on the top, tomorrow may be different), and things may change instantly. The world will slap you another piece of shit, but you already know what to do. Good luck! And let me hear you say, "Life is a piece of cake." :)