December 24, 2010

A Message For Papa

The truth is I can't forget the night when you and I talked about camping 10 years ago. It was 8 in the evening, we gathered dried leaves in our garden, put it on fire and you sat on a hammock and I sat adjacent to you facing the bonfire.

The truth is I miss making hot coffee for you early in the morning while you're having a conversation with a friend. Also, the day I gave you a cup which says: "You're my number one super hero!"

The truth is I have always loved giving you a massage before we go to sleep.

The truth is I never liked escorting you to the hospital but I always make sure not to show you my tears whenever I talk to you. Just so you wouldn't feel sad.

The truth is I always cry whenever I visit you in the hospital because I never wanted to see you weak.

The truth is I didn't visit you when you were in ICU because I don't want to see those freaking machines attached to your body.

The truth is I visited you on your last day. I could've said words like " I love you, Papa" but my tears flowed down my cheeks so I never get to open my mouth to say those words. You were sleeping. I was crying.

When I arrived home, Mama and everyone were crying.

I asked why. They said you are gone.

You passed away minutes after I left the hospital.

The truth is I didn't cry the moment they told me that.

I was thinking of a lot of things and didn't know what's going on.

What will happen next?

The truth is I never cried during your funeral.

Not a single tear and I don't even know why.

Maybe because I wanted to be strong for Mama.

I was young back then.

Now...

I cry every night.

Because I miss you.

I miss you, Papa!

Though I wasn't able to say those words to you, Papa, you already know how much I love you. You're still my super hero! Be happy with mama and tell her I missed her, too! See you soon! As soon as I'm finished with all my dreams! Guide me always, I know you two are there! :)

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:59 PM

    i got this from the barbie rapunzel line.. i love this... "..constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved from your mother and father..." -te michi :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. :') Thank you, te michi! :)

    ReplyDelete

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