August 7, 2008

Something

It was my mom who introduced me to Him. She said that He could be my brother, my uncle, my friend and my guardian angel. She also said that He can grant my wishes, my hopes, my dreams and all. I was and am really happy that mama introduced me to Him. Really.

I can still remember the time when my mama taught me how to pray. We were inside our room, sitting on our bed with our eyes closed, make a sign of the cross, our hands are clasped and I would repeat after every word that my mom has to say.(And I bet all of you know these words too!)

After that, were ready to sleep. It became a habit for me. Until now, I still do this every after I go to bed. BUT... things have changed. Ever since, my mom and dad died, my faith for him is slowly fading away. I never wanted it to happen that way. I don't even know how did it start, what did I do and why I became like this.I stopped praying because I thought that it's just a waste of time and God never existed in the first place.I never went to church because I thought that it's just a place where people wants to waste their time and that I can do a lot of things within 1 hour and 30 min over the net.I discontinued reading The Bible because I thought that it's just a collection of books and that nobody reads that book and that book is just a myth or something in other words - I didn't believe everything that is written there.

AND YES! I WAS WRONG! VERY VERY WRONG! I just realized that those things that I thought against Him were the factors why I can't live my life at its best. Those were the things that stopped my from living life to the fullest.

My friend and I talked about it during our Theology class and I told her that iwant to change my life back to it's normal state. Yes, I am aware that I've been living my life without direction. She sent me a message a while ago, saying, "Dibi, after you read this, turn off your phone. Go to a place where you can be alone. because God wants to talk to you! Thank Him for everything from the air that you breathe up to whatever you want to thank Him. Take as much time as you want. Close your eyes but don't lie on your bed.." I was speechless.. I just remembered what she said earlier, "I always pray at 9 pm" and the time she sent this message was 8:59:32 so that's about 9:00 pm already. I was stunned.Maybe she's right. God really wants to talk to me. So yes, I did it. 

Upon saying the word "Thank you", a tear fell on my cheeks and another one and another one and so on. Every tear that fell is equivalent to the burden that I've been carrying from the day I stopped believing on Him up to this very moment. It feels soooo good to talk to Him once again. for soooo many years. I'm relieved. I feel like I still have a purpose and that is to live my life as clean as I could. 

And now I'm here, talking and sharing about it because I want you to know that from now on, I will try my best to change every little bad thing that I'm used to do. I know it's impossible to just change everything in a snap but I am willing to sacrifice and determine myself to be a good sister, a friend and a daughter. ;)


THANK YOU MAMA
THANK YOU PAPA
THANK YOU FRIEND

and lastly, 
THANK YOU GOD
for accepting me again in your HEART. 

2 comments:

  1. i'm a buddhist, but your story is beautiful. :)

    ReplyDelete

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